(Eastridge 2006)
Brothers & sisters – it’s a pleasure to speak in my home ward! (Jokes and comments) - Close to home or with those that know their faults. Most of you know human side. (Church Ball)
A few years ago some of my so called friends were at a gathering at which a group of educators were discussing the worse students they have had over the years. One teacher started to tell about the worse she had ever seen and started to tell some of the things – I had supposedly done, none of which I had. I think she had rolled up every bad experience she had had and decided to give me credit. Many of those things at one point of my life I would have been happy to get credit for. In her defense I know I did some things that I shouldn’t have that gave her reason to remember me. I asked my friends if they defended me – since he was my counselor in the Bishopric – to which he said “heck no”. I think they were just enjoying the moment. The sobering part of this story is that she still held malice for me after all those years.
I grew up in a humble home where extra money was in short supply – for that reason I got a paper route to have a little spending money. If I wanted school lunch that came out of my own money – I remember buying some of my own clothes, as well as any extras I wanted. I remember once I wanted a kite – a black one with a scull and cross bones across the front. I lived across the street from the Whitter School on third north here in Logan and went to the play ground to fly my kite.
It was great as it scoured into the air. Then all the sudden there was a hole in my kite and it began to fall to the earth. I was devastated and had no idea what had happened. As I looked around there was a young man my age looking out his second story window with a pelt gun in his hand. He had shot my kite out of the air. I guess I should have thought – that was a great shot – but he had just destroyed my kite. I still remember he never apologized or offered to buy me a new kite.
Another story, I have told a number of times from this pulpit, isn’t about me - but my father – his mother died from complications of his birth, leaving his father alone with this little baby. Shortly there after he remarried – but his new wife was unwilling to treat my father him like one of her own, forced the issue, and my father was put into foster homes instead in their home. - More than forty years later, long after my grandfather had passed away, this stepmother met my father again and pleaded for his forgiveness, for what she had done to him as a child.
Brothers and sisters - every one of us have a number of stories where we or someone else has done something or acted in a stupid or inappropriate manner. They have caused many to become bitter, critical, and in some cases inactive in the church of Jesus Christ.
In our last conference – Elder Bednar gave a talk that made a big stir throughout the church. Two weeks ago as I was attending this ward, it was discussed four times in the three meetings that I attended. Could it be that too many of us can relate more than we are willing to admit. Have we taken offence or been the cause of someone else taking offence.
Elder David A. Bednar
of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles –
When we believe or say we have been offended, we usually mean we feel insulted, mistreated, snubbed, or disrespected. And certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean-spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else.
First he stated that indeed events happen that are inappropriate, many times unintentionally that allow other to take offense.
One of these sobering times for me, took place when I was Bishop of this ward, as a family was having a major crisis’. They came to me for help – the first thing that they told me was that they almost hadn’t come because they thought I didn’t like them. The events that led to that conclusion were unintentional and completely unknown to me.
The scriptures are full of such example – can you imagine how the world would be if Ishmael’s and Esau’s descendents had no hard feeling for Jacob descendents especially the Jews. The starting of the Laminite and Nephite wars were because of differences between brothers. There are many other factors that have evolved over the centuries, but like the teacher that can’t remember why she didn’t like me as one of her students, if not taken care of, feeling of bitterness can enter our souls and cloud even the reasons we feel hurt, or have taken offence.
Because of human faults those serving in the church aren’t immune to offensive behavior.
Since the beginning of this dispensation the Lord has prepared his Prophet by calling them as the President of the Quorum of the Twelve first. The first President of the Quorum of the Twelve in this dispensation was Thomas B. Marsh. But he and his wife allowed themselves to take offence over something as inconsequential as sharing milk with a neighbor. Ultimately losing his position as well as their membership in the church. Brigham Young, on the other hand, was severely and publicly rebuked by the Prophet Joseph Smith, far worse than Brother Marsh, but he chose not to take offense.
Thankfully, I have been lucky enough to fall in the later category. Despite the fact the Bishop Larsen shot down my kite – I with out hesitation support and sustain him as our Bishop and as a man of God. The way that we react to these types of actions is our choice.
Elder Bednar -
In many instances, choosing to be offended is a symptom of a much deeper and more serious spiritual malady. Thomas B. Marsh allowed himself to be acted upon, and the eventual results were apostasy and misery. Brigham Young was an agent who exercised his agency and acted in accordance with correct principles, and he became a mighty instrument in the hands of the Lord.
That’s a hard statement for those of us that have taken offence to the actions of others. Could it be that spiritually we have some work to do?
1 Nephi 19:9 – is an example – of the Savior Jesus Christ
"And the world, because of their iniquity, shall judge him to be a thing of naught; wherefore they scourge him, and he suffereth it; and they smite him, and he suffereth it. Yea, they spit upon him, and he suffereth it, because of his loving kindness and his long-suffering towards the children of men"
It’s interesting to me that those that try to offend – as it stated do so “because of their iniquity” but the Savior “suffered it”. Why – “because of his loving kindness”.
The Savior should be our example when such situations come – our goal is to understand each others weaknesses and to have Christ like love and forgiveness. That is easier said than done. As we repent of our sins the Lord has promised to remember them no more – he has also told us too forgive our trespassers. If we want his forgiveness, we must be willing to give ours.
This is the very essence of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. We can only make the Atonement effective in our lives as we sacrifice our whole souls to the will of the Father. We must learn His will and follow it.
Psalm 199:165
"Great peace has they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them"
First we need to know the law, then as the scripture states to love it. This is achieved by study and becoming more Christ like.
As we forgive others their trespasses – that does not relieve them of their responsibility to repent and many times to make restitution. Sadly if that isn’t done by them, our forgiveness process becomes much harder.
But, the Savior upon the Cross continued this process – as he prayed, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” He never shut the door that would allow His transgressor to come unto Him and to be clean. He never continued to bring up pass events or hold malice for mistakes or shortcoming that each of us continually make, and nether should we.
I believe most us - are holding on to some form of distain for another or could reach out to a family member, either close or extended, that needs a little extra love or nurturing. Most of us have been the cause of suffering or pain to another because of our actions. Sometimes the problem is that we have no idea that person has taken offence.
Elder Bednar -
The capacity to conquer offense may seem beyond our reach. …. The very nature of the Redeemer's Atonement and the purpose of the restored Church are intended to help us receive precisely this kind of spiritual strength.
Elder Bednar then likened the Church of Jesus Christ to a “Learning Laboratory” – I love this analogy, the teacher becomes a better teacher as they teach. We become more like the Savior Jesus Christ as we learn and apply His teachings.
He stated -
Understanding that the Church is a learning laboratory helps us to prepare for an inevitable reality. In some way and at some time, someone in this Church will do or say something that could be considered offensive. Such an event will surely happen to each and every one of us—and it certainly will occur more than once. Though people may not intend to injure or offend us, they nonetheless can be inconsiderate and tactless.
The problem with the learning laboratory is that each of us is learning at different paces and even different lessons. I guarantee you that maybe one minute, or maybe an hour – or even a day Bishop Larsen has been a bad Bishop during his first year of service. But so has every other Bishop or leader in the Church, including myself. When they know they have done something wrong – hopefully they can take care of it, and learn for the next opportunity to serve.
These learning experiences are very difficult for many of us, they become much easier as we encourage and support each other rather than to criticize or find fault.
If taking offence is a sign of more serious spiritual weaknesses – the higher road is to do everything in our power, not only to not take offence but when we learn that others are having a hard time with ours or others actions, we should ask for forgiveness and try to make things right. You may learn that from their point of view it may have been hard for you to accept as well.
There are numerous examples of individuals who have risen to great heights, despite reasons or opportunities to feel sorry for themselves or give up.
- Joseph who was sold into Egypt as a slave by his brothers. Then was accused by Potiphar’s wife of misconduct. Despite this, and because of his faithfulness, the Lord blessed him and raised him up too be the second most powerful man in the most powerful country in the world. Then he was then able to help those that had despised him and persecuted him.
- One that I hold in as high esteem is my father – despite his early childhood, he found the Church of Jesus Christ and raised ten children and has sixty grandchildren. Never have any of us questioned whether he had a testimony of God the Father and the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. He was the best father and teacher I could have had.
The Greatest example is that of the life and mission of the Lord and Savior - Jesus Christ. Despite being perfect and sinless he suffered every temptation, every pain and sorrow – was persecuted beyond belief or comparison. But, because he was perfect and sinless he paid the price of sin – answered the end of the law. Why? Because of his loving kindness” for every one of us.
In speaking about the Savior-
MOSIAH 15: 10-12
10 And now I say unto you, who shall declare his ageneration? Behold, I say unto you, that when his soul has been made an offering for bsin he shall see his cseed. And now what say ye? And who shall be his seed?
11 Behold I say unto you, that whosoever has heard the words of the aprophets, yea, all the holy prophets who have prophesied concerning the coming of the Lord—I say unto you, that all those who have hearkened unto their words, and believed that the Lord would redeem his people, and have looked forward to that day for a remission of their sins, I say unto you, that these are his seed, or they are the heirs of the bkingdom of God.
12 For these are they whose sins ahe has borne; these are they for whom he has died, to redeem them from their transgressions. And now, are they not his seed?
When we are baptized into the church – we take upon us the name of Christ, we are confirmed and member of His Church. We make covenants and promises that we renew each week as we partake of the sacrament.
But, this does not make us His seed. As the scripture states we must hearken and believe in the works of God and His prophets, looking forward for a remission of our sins. These are action words – which can not be achieved by being a passive bystander in the kingdom of God.
If we are true followers of Christ and members of His church would we need a talk like this one?
19 For the anatural bman is an cenemy to God, and has been from the dfall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he eyields to the enticings of the Holy fSpirit, and gputteth off the hnatural man and becometh a isaint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a jchild, ksubmissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.
Brothers and sister – you are wonderful! I would like to ask – what difference will our time here today make in our lives and our relationship with the Savior Jesus Christ. We have partaken of the sacrament – renewing our covenants.
Let’s put off the natural man
– forgive someone that has treated us poorly
– ask for forgiveness for our shortcomings
– forgive and forget past actions of others
– remember the Savior won’t remember them any more
Why should we?
The irony of this topic is that someone here today, may have taken offence with what has been said – or with the messenger, because of my personal weaknesses. If any of you have taken offence because of me over the years – I’m sorry and ask for your forgiveness. I have faults and weaknesses – but a blessing, I have that I’m thankful for is my testimony -
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