(HP quorum meeting – stake)
Last Sunday – Let us all pass on in the Work of the Lord
Our Relationship as Husband and Wives.
When I was given this assignment – I asked my wife for advice, she laughed and said “I can’t wait to hear what you will say about that.”
Being a High Priest group meeting – we have a number of couples that have been married more than 50 years – I don’t think there are many newly –weds. I do not claim to be the most qualified to give this talk. But, this is a topic that is one of the most important responsibilities for our salvation and exaltation. As well as for our happiness on a daily basis.
(Heard on Radio) – on way to work 10/10/2006
Marriage in Norway at the lowest levels since WWII – people aren’t getting married, and when they are married the average age of the bride is 30 years of age.
On talk show last Tuesday night – they estimated more people are living together out of wedlock than are married in the U.S.
The Family: A Proclamation to the World
We warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.
They then gave us a charge -
We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.
The Lord gave us the key-
EPHESIANS - CHAPTER 5
25 aHusbands, blove your cwives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
What did the Savior do for the Church?
He laid down his life for it,
He nurtured it,
He sanctified it.
He provided the means by which it might succeed.
And as it said in the scripture He loved it.
Elder Perry - Your Eternal Companion is your first priority!
He then gave us counsel on what to do -
“Begin by discussing with your eternal companion how much time you need together to strengthen your marriage, to demonstrate the love you have for each other. That is your first priority.”
“The Church is to help individuals and families come unto Christ and obtain eternal life. Eternal life is God’s greatest gift to His children, and it is obtained only through a family relationship. This relationship must start with the union between husband and wife, which is sacred to the Lord and is something not to be trifled with.”
Being a Righteous Husband and Father
Keep yourselves above any domineering or unworthy behavior in the tender, intimate relationship between husband and wife. Because marriage is ordained of God, the intimate relationship between husbands and wives is good and honorable in the eyes of God. He has commanded that they be one flesh and that they multiply and replenish the earth (see Moses 2:28; Moses 3:24). You are to love your wife as Christ loved the Church and gave himself for it (see Eph. 5:25–31).
Tenderness and respect—never selfishness—must be the guiding principles in the intimate relationship between husband and wife. Each partner must be considerate and sensitive to the other’s needs and desires. Any domineering, indecent, or uncontrolled behavior in the intimate relationship between husband and wife is condemned by the Lord.
The House of the Lord
The ultimate blessings of the temple are centered in the love and devotion between husband and wife. They must set the example—they are the core. The scriptures say it best of all: “Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord” (1 Cor. 11:11). Everything in this world that is counter to a tender and loyal husband-wife relationship is a tool of the adversary. Everything that promotes and perpetuates family unity—mother, father, and children properly endowed with and motivated by the light and truth of Christ—is in harmony with the Lord’s plan for mortal man.
Safe Place for Marriages and Families
2. A marriage made safe by both love and consecration can allow for a variety of opinions.
For a man and wife to become one there are many differences, large and small, that must be accommodated or resolved. In a marriage relationship that is secure, differences need not lead to discord. They can be openly considered until a satisfactory solution is reached because the premises are agreed upon: both the husband and wife are committed to love one another, to build the kingdom of God, and to establish an eternal family unit. All considerations are made in light of these three basic commitments—these are the “givens.” When they are held inviolate, the marriage remains intact, even though the process of resolution may involve considerable discussion.
Marriage and Family:
Our Sacred Responsibility
Marriage is meant to be and must be a loving, binding, harmonious relationship between a man and a woman. When a husband and a wife understand that the family is ordained of God and that marriage can be filled with promises and blessings extending into the eternities, separation and divorce would seldom be a consideration in the Latter-day Saint home. Couples would realize that the sacred ordinances and covenants made in the house of the Lord provide the means whereby they can return to the presence of God.
Marriage and Divorce
It would seem that a major underlying cause of divorce is in not understanding that marriage and families are God-given and God-ordained. If we understood the full meaning we would have less divorce and its attendant unhappiness. Couples would plan for a happy marriage relationship based on divine instruction. If couples understood from the beginning of their romance that their marriage relationship could be blessed with promises and conditions extending into the eternities, divorce would not even be a considered alternative when difficulties arise. The current philosophy—get a divorce if it doesn’t work out—handicaps a marriage from the beginning.
Nurturing Marriage
Marriage is both a commandment and an exalting principle of the gospel. 12 Because it is ordained of God, the intimate physical expressions of married love are sacred. Yet all too commonly, these divine gifts are desecrated. If a couple allows lewd language or pornography to corrupt their intimacy, they offend their Creator while they degrade and diminish their own divine gifts. True happiness is predicated upon personal purity. 13 Scripture commands: “Be ye clean.” 14 Marriage should ever be a covenant to lift husbands and wives to exaltation in celestial glory.
Priesthood authority has been restored so that families can be sealed eternally. So brethren, your foremost priesthood duty is to nurture your marriage—to care for, respect, honor, and love your wife. Be a blessing to her and your children.
With these doctrinal underpinnings in mind, let us consider the second step—specific actions that would strengthen a marriage. I will offer sample suggestions and invite each couple privately to ponder them and adapt them as needed to their own particular circumstances.
My suggestions use three action verbs: to appreciate, to communicate, and to contemplate.
To appreciate—to say “I love you” and “thank you”—is not difficult. But these expressions of love and appreciation do more than acknowledge a kind thought or deed. They are signs of sweet civility. As grateful partners look for the good in each other and sincerely pay compliments to one another, wives and husbands will strive to become the persons described in those compliments.
Suggestion number two—to communicate well with your spouse—is also important. Good communication includes taking time to plan together. Couples need private time to observe, to talk, and really listen to each other. They need to cooperate—helping each other as equal partners. They need to nurture their spiritual as well as physical intimacy. They should strive to elevate and motivate each other. Marital unity is sustained when goals are mutually understood. Good communication is also enhanced by prayer. To pray with specific mention of a spouse’s good deed (or need) nurtures a marriage.
My third suggestion is to contemplate. This word has deep meaning. It is the root from which the word temple comes. If couples contemplate often—with each other in the temple—sacred covenants will be better remembered and kept. Frequent participation in temple service and regular family scripture study nourish a marriage and strengthen faith within a family. Contemplation allows one to anticipate and to resonate (or be in tune) with each other and with the Lord. Contemplation will nurture both a marriage and God’s kingdom. The Master said, “Seek not the things of this world but seek ye first to build up the kingdom of God, and to establish his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.” 17
Begin with sincere desire. Identify those actions needed to bless your spiritual unity and purpose.
When you as husband and wife recognize the divine design in your union—when you feel deeply that God has brought you to each other—your vision will be expanded and your understanding enhanced. Such feelings are expressed in words of a song that has long been a favorite of mine:
28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his awife loveth himself.
29 For no man ever yet ahated his own bflesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30 For we are amembers of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be aone flesh. his awife loveth himself.
Elder David A. Bednar
Question 1: In my own life, am I striving to become a better husband or a wife, or preparing to be a husband or a wife, by understanding and applying these basic principles?
All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and . . . has a divine nature and destiny.”3 The great plan of happiness enables the spirit sons and daughters of Heavenly Father to obtain physical bodies, to gain earthly experience, and to progress toward perfection.
Principle 1: The importance of eternal marriage can be understood only within the context of the Father’s plan of happiness.
Principle 2: Satan desires that all men and women might be miserable like unto himself.
Principle 3: The ultimate blessings of love and happiness are obtained through the covenant relationship of eternal marriage.
Husbands and wives need time together to fortify themselves and their homes against the attacks of the adversary. As we strive to magnify our callings in the Church, are we unintentionally hindering husbands and wives and mothers and fathers from fulfilling their sacred responsibilities in the home? For example, do we sometimes schedule unnecessary meetings and activities in a way that interferes with the essential relationship between a husband and a wife and their relationships with children?
We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children.
The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity.
Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children.
Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.
We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God
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